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tv   Today  NBC  January 26, 2016 10:00am-11:00am CST

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( nervous breathing ) sorry. i'm a... nervous flyer. yes, i see. oh, you're white as a sheet. actually, i'm always this pale. my ex-wife used to say she could tell when i was embarrassed because i'd turn off-white. i can empathize. sometimes after a late night, i've covered my undereye circles with liquid paper. ( chuckles ) so, are you traveling to seattle for business or pleasure? both, hopefully. i'm relocating for work. how about you? i need to ask an old friend for a favor. hmm. it's a long trip just to ask for a favor. it's a big favor. well, i hope your friend complies.
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oh, dear. you two look awfully pale. can i bring you something? not unless you have any extra melanin lying around. ( laughs ) you should be a comedian. i've thought about it. weight watchers has changed. weight watchers all-new beyond the scale program puts the focus on you and not just the number on the scale. lose weight while eating healthier, with all new smartpoints. and move more by inclung fitness in ways that work for you. see how good you'll feel with the new weight watchers beyond the scale program! join for free now and lose 10 pounds on us. infallible pro-m-mte foundation by l'oreal. the pro-look in longwear. matte without the flat. up to 24 hours. resists, sweat, heat,
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with jimmy dean delights, good mornings lead to great days. shine on. floyd doesn't believe he can get his taxes done for nothing. so we brought in dr. kaku to explain what we mean by nothing. it means it's free intuit turbotax. anna thinks you need a phd to do your own taxes. so we brought in a phd to help explain them. you're getting this refund because your son is a qualifying dependent,
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good. good. good! good. great. intuit turbo tax. ( door opening ) dad? dad, dad, what, are you hiding? i heard the key in the doooo i thought lilith might be with you. what's she coming for, anyway? well, i don't really know. she... she said she was flying across the country to ask me about something that was important. she's being very mysterious about it. hmm. ( doorbell rings ) is that her? well, no. no, dad. i'm not seeing her until tomorrow. well, let me know when she's coming, w wl you, so i can come up w wh an excuse to c car out because i'm not good at winging it. oh... lilith. ( chuckles ) look who's here, dad.
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oh! time to go practice my signature. well, please, come on in, lilith. uh, so, uh, i didn't think i was going to be seeing you until tomorrow. um... yes, i know that was the plan, but i just had to stop by on my way to the hotel. what i'm here to talk to you about is not something one just drops on another person. ( sighs ) frasier. ( clears throat ) recently, a subconscioio yearning has tunneled its way to the surface, and i now know what it is i need in ord to make my life complete. well, that's wonderful news. how can i help? you can give me your sperm. i beg your pardon? i want to have another baby. well, you certainly don't need me for that.
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i came to you first so that frederick could have a full sibling. so, just like that, we're going to have another baby together? no, no, not just like that. i mapped out our dominant and receceive traits a genome square, applied mendel's la allowed for anomalies, and concluded that you are the best biological choice. i see. well, as enticed as i am by your honeyed words... i'm going to need some kissin'. frasier, don't misunderstand. i'm not proposing any change in our reretionship. would we sleep together? i thought we'd freeze your sperm. is that a yes or a no? natural fertilization isn't practical. i'd have to fly to seattle every time i ovulate. ririt, okay, so then your plan is
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uh, freeze my essence and then bring it home with you. correct. i'll take mine to go. i don't know. i... i'm going to have to think about it. yes, of course, absolutely. think about it, and you can give me your answer tomorrow. okay. you can comemeack from around theheorner now, martin. martin: good night, lilith. good night. you were eavesdropping? it was an accident, and i only heard the part about her wanting to have another baby with you. she completely threw me. well, i don't know why you're so surprised. she's seen what the crane genes can do, and she's coming back to the well. how does one respond to something like that? well, i bet if you say no, she'll go to niles. really, it's just so self-centered of her. you know, she's got this all figured out for herself without the slightest consideration for my life. and niles will say no for sure.
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she'll come to the source. me. the fountainhead. what? can you imagine? lilith's and my kid would be brothers to you and niles and freddy. what are you talking about? and if you and lilith got back together, you'd be his stepfather and his brother, and niles would be your son... and his own uncle. it's almost worth doing just so that i can tell the story. oh, hi, niles. did daphne and her mum get off okay? uh, yes, they picked up roz and alice an hour ago. although how they're going to get all the way to canada without tjlling each other, i don't know. why did they have to go so far? well, that was my idea. i read that canadian fun country's one of the best amusement parks in southeastern british columbia. oh. well, i'm just saying daphne's mum should be careful, you know.
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sometimes people have a difficult time getting back into the country. that hadn't occurred to me, frasier. ( clears throat ) well, seeing as how you're single, i'd invite you to join me for dinner, but i'm-i'm meeting with lilith tonight on a matter of some delicacy. uh, dad told me. now listen, don't feel obligated because she's buying you dinner. truth be told, niles, i haven't ruled it out entirely. it would be nice to have another child and lilith is a wonderful mother. it's just that, well... is it right to create a human being with a woman to whom you couldn't stand being married? well, i'm behind you, whatever decision you make-- the right one or the crazy one. well, thank you. ( both chuckling ) excuse me. may i have an espresso, please? and what have you got here? oh, some snapshots from last summer at the beach. daphph finally got them developed. ( laughing ): oh, look. there's dad eating that hot dog he dropped in the sand. yes. and you in your linen beach ensemble. very nice, yes.
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daphne said i'd particularly like the last picture on the roll, but what is it? well, it's hard to tell. it's too dark and blurry. looks like the eye of jupiter. or a slice of pepperoni. is it a flying saucer? yes, niles, it's a flying saucer. mystery solved. well done. thanks. hey, where'd you get the nipple shot? good lord! you are to erase that from your mimi! well, is it daphne? nice. you're not erasing! erase! i need to stop again. we just stopped. i told you not to get that big gulp. but it was only ten cents more. punchbuggy blue. ow! dammit! language. why does she keep doing that? it's a game. it hurts. all right, mum. there's a gas station right there. i really need to stop. i can't get over. you'll have to wait. but according to this,
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it's only 40 miles. punchbuggy red. oh, son of a...! language. alice, honey, stop hitting mrs. moon. she can't take the punchbuggy game. oh, really? punchbuggy white. ow! that was a jeep. i like playing with jeeps. and fords. punchbuggy ford. all right, that's enough! you stop it, or no one's going to canadian fun country. and this time i mean it. ( screams ) ( others scream ) i'm sorry. i thought you were on the wrong side of the road. i will never get used to the crazy way you drive over here. mum, you have to stop doing that. daphne, you seem stressed. do you want me to drive for a while? maybe once we get out of seattle. frasier, i don't want to rush you,
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have you decided? i'm thinking about the linguini. i see. it's "no" then, isn't it? i'm sorry, lilith. this was a very difficult decision for me, and i am touched and flattered that you came to me, but i'm not sure i'd be doing it for the right reasons. yes, i do. and i appreciate your taking the time to think about it. well... it's that kind of consideration i was hoping to pass on to our second-born. oh, well. so, the pasta's good here? oh, the best. because he cooks me cweam of wheat... lilith, what are you singing? was i singing? you were singing "my dad is the gweatest dad." oh, you mean that song frederick wrote for you when he was four? that video is one of my prize possessions. of course i haven't looked at it in some time.
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he crawled up in your lap and said, "why is daddy cwying?" i see what you're doing, you know. what? you are attempting to manipulate me by invoking powerful, emotional memories. i assure you, nothing could be further from the truth. are you ready to order? yes. i'd like the bisketti with beatmalls. mmm, very good, miss. that's what our son used to say when he was three. excellent! and i'll have the veal. bravo, sir. lilith, i'm afraid you're idealizing parenthood. do you remember colic? teething? changing mountains of diapers? do you remember that time in the bath when he tried to eat the bubbles? we told him to stop, but we kept laughing, so he thought it was funny and kept doing it. you know, i'd forgotten about that. oh, i wish we had that on video. you can, frasier. we can have those days back again. please. i just need a couple of teaspoons. lilith!
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in our lives. i think about it every day. frasier... we're always seeking ways we can leave a legacy. well, forget my research and your work. this is it. what better gift can we bestow on the world but another person as wonderful as frederick? excuse me, um... i've changed my mind. i've decided that i, too, will have the bisketti and beatmalls.
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and absolutely no space for added sugar, water, or preservatives. tropicana. we put the good in morning. floyd doesn't believe he can get his taxes done for nothing. so we brought in dr. kaku to explain what we mean by nothing. it means it's free. intuit turbotax. when it came to dinner, i used to try anything to make my family happy. now, i just serve tyson crispy chicken strips. they love the crispy homestyle breading. i love the juicy, all-white meat, from chicken raised with no added hormones or steroids. tyson crispy chicken strips. family dinner -- done. nivea in-shower body lotion. first i wash... then i apply it to my wet skin.
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i quickly rinse off. and i'm ady to go. nivea in-shower body lotion -- in the body lotion aisle. hi mom! hi! every mom is a coach... an artist... sometimes even a zoologist. every mom is a working mom... and it's working moms everywherewho inspired us to work harder. so we made our banquet meals even better. with mashed potatoes now made with real cream and chicken strips with 100% natural chicken breast. so now, there's more to love with banquet. now serving... a better banquet. thank you. gosh, that coffee smells so good. mmm. lilith won't let me have any caffeine until i've made my little donation. ah, yes. so, have you heard from daphne? no, we keep missing each other. i'm just glad i have our little pictorial memento to keep me company. i can't believe you're so taken with that blurry overexposed photo of a...
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of what you first mistook to be a flying saucer. i just think it's sexy that she even did it. yeah. imagine it-- she saw there was one picture left on the roll. in a spontaneous moment of brazen exhibitionism, she threw w en her blouse and just didn't even bother to adjust t e f-stop. chuckles ) yes, indeed. oh. i am married to one spicy meatball. good lord. don't tell me you carry it around with you. well... i didn't want the housekeeper to find it and think we were pornographers. woman: just fill out these forms and i can show you to one of our donation suites. thank you. will this be your first?
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you mean baby. uh, no, no. this is our second. we've got number four on the way. oh, and we're thrilled for you, but perhaps we can chat some other time when we're not trying to create life. sign and date. right. this process can be hard on a relationship, but she'll relax and things'll get better. we're already divorced. good, 'cause she'll never change. up and at 'em. follow me, sqr. just go ahead in and make yourself comfortable. you'll find everything you need in the cabinet. thank you. uh, wait, frasier. it probably doesn't matter, but... try to think positive thoughts. thanks for that. i was going to think
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i'm just saying we should put the welfare of the sample first. mm-hmm. yes? and don't fall asleep afterwards. i want to get these puppies on ice asap. good-bye now. just a hint. lilith! if there is one thing i can do by myself, this is it. now, go away. right this way. ( phone ringing ) what?! i just remembered a special method which supposedly increases the likelihood of having a boy. i see. is there something i can do to increase the likelihood
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no, but perhaps you can use a method which will give us a baby that can take other people's advice. i would settle for a method where it won't turn out to be a sarcastic prig! oh, just do it. fine. no, wait. i don't want you to do it when you're mad. why don't we just... take a minute and sit down and breathe? it's your dime. oh, dear god. what if this child inherits all of our flaws instead of our strengths? we could create a real nightmare. that's not going to happen. it's going to be exactly the way it was the first tim is that what's going on here? are we trying to cate a baby or just trying to recreate the past? i meme, frederick's alalst grown now. it's only natural to feel a sense of loss.
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well, lilith, i-i know what you're going through. you want to feel needed and loved as you were when you were a new mother. the past can be very seductive. i mean, i've fallen into it, too. i'm trying toelive freddy's childhood. you can't use the past to fill what's missing in the present. it's gone. frasier, i've done a lot of thinking and this feels right to me. well, it's not right for me. i'm sorry. i'm sorry, too you all right? i'll be fine. if i can't make another little frederick with you, there's always cloning. and you still don't know when i'm joking. i... well, i...
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well, i'm going to go home and give frederick a very big hug. and maybe swab the inside of his cheek. oh, stop that. oh, you already ate. i was going to take you to bogart's. bogart's? oh, don't worry about that. i was just eating it because it was here. i wasn't eating it to get full. just give me two minutes. ( phone ringing ) hello. oh, niles, darling. daphne! i thought i'd nevevereach you. we were booted f fm the park and are coming home. it seems someone put out a cigarette on a stuffed moose. i didn't know it was stuffed. i was defending myself. i love those pictures you left for me. more specifically, the last one. something a little different, eh? indeed, it is. i can't even believe you took it. i didn't take it.
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i'm talking about the last picture on the roll. the close-up. yeah. your father was trying to get a picture of eddy, but instead he got a picture of his own chest. this is dad's... that's his nipple. ( shudders ) can't wa to get to bogart's.s. i know just t at i'm going to g g-- the barbecued chicken breast. they have the juiciest one in town. or the lamb. they serve an enormous rack. that's great. you might want to get an overcoat of frasier's out of there. it's supposed to be pretty nippy tonight. oh, hi, dad. where you going? oh, niles is here. we're just going out for a bite. do you want to join us? sure. so, uh... how's lilith? i just dropped her off at the airport. she's disappointed, but she knows that we're doing the right thing.
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thanks, dad. just hope she finds what's missing in her life. hey, pasty. oh, hello. may i? yes, certainly. what happened? i thought you u re relocating to sesetle. uh, it wasn't a fit. i'm going back to boston. i don't know, call me neurotic. i just can't work in a lab that's not immaculate. you work in a lab? mmm, i'm a physicist. really? my name's lilith. ah, the demon goddess. are you like the, uh... independent fireball that was your predecessor? i make her look like a vacillating cream puff. albert. what happened with your friend? did you get your favor? it's a long story.
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oh, hello. how goes the installation? well, we had to put in a transformer for the dc, so after we pull the wires, brace the beam, she'll be ready to roll. ah. daphne, daphne. you know the mike shaw painting that i'm donating to the museum? frasier suggested we throw a farewell dinner party for it. we've invited some fellow collectors. um, niles, i've been thinking. come and sit down, darling. maybe it's time you stopped throwing dinner parties with your brother. what? you don't exactly have the best track record. well, throwing dinner parties is an art. it takes time to perfect. no. but...
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no, it has to stop. maybe you and i should try throwing a party togogher. you and me? it's such a big step. are you sure? maybe it's time we entertained as a couple. oh, thank you, darling. excuse me. it's after 4:00. what if i finish this tomorrow? well, i suppose... oh, no, you don't. you said one day when i hired you and that's what it's going to be. so get cracking 'cause something's going to be hanging from that rafter by the end of the day. yes, ma'am. daphne, you handled that so masterfully, as if he weren't wearing that authoritative tool belt at all. here's something to shout from the mountaintop. cricket's plans start at $35 a month, after $5 auto pay credit. with more 4g lte coverage nationwide than t-mobile or sprint.
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get incomes rising... get equal pay for women... cut the cost of health care and child care so people can actually get ahead. hillary clinton, she has what takes to get thingsgsone. i'm hillary clintotoand i approve this message. oh, niles, niles. thank goodness you're here. i am simply percolating with party ideas. ( sighs ) listen. have you thought of inviting the artist himself? he lives in town, you know? yes, i extended an invitation through his gallery
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oh. that's too bad. well, then, i have come up with the perfect entertainment for our little art crowd. it's a radical tableau vivant troupe. i don't know. but they do provide smocks and shower caps, so we're covereded frasier, daphne and i are throwing the party. daphne. ah, fine. suit yourself. it's your painting. i suppose i could just whip up my signature dish. daphne's handling the food. lovely. so you'll be serving those sad brown chunks that make their way from plate to napkin, bypassing mouth completely. it's called "piccadilly beef" and i talked her out of it, thank god. the whole thing's being catered. we're having cornish game hens wild rice stuffing, wonderful sides, and all heat and serve. lovely. i think you'd be happy to be just a guest for once. just a guest!
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i've never been just a guest before. before, i always felt like family. oh, look, here she is now. the hostess with the mostest. i see niles told you. yes. i'm sorry i won't be attending your debut soiree, daphne. i hope that doesn't throw off your seating plan. it's going to be a buffet. buffet! well, if you should need any help you know my phone number. number three on our speed dial. number three. interesting. where's the video? i thought you were going to rent castaway. if i wanted to watch someone talk to a volleyball for two hours, i would have stayed in manchester
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well, what are you going to do all night? oh, you needn't worry about me. i'm going to watch a boxing match on pay-per-view. there's nothing like two, great, sweaty beasts beating each other senseless. i miss your father. come on, alice. it's time to put away your crayons. lookit. i wrote my name really big. oh, let's see. there and there and there and there. ( gasps ) oh, my god! alice! oh, daphne, i'm so sorry. oh, it's not to worry. it'll come out. it's only a little crayon. at's worse. i can handle this. niles has an art restorer he uses all the time. i'll get his card. i'm sorry, mommy. i know, honey. but from now on, just only sign your own artwork, okay? 'cause mine is prettier.
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here's his business card. okay, i'll run it right over. just tell him it's an emergency. we're e ry good customers. i'm just glad niles isn't here. he doesn't take these things in his stre like i do. there. another fire put out. oh, my god! the hens. oh, my god! okay, don't panic. i can handle this. oh, look at that! daphne, now what are you going to do? well, i can't call the caterer. they were doing a big party and we were their last stop. oh, i know. call frasier. he's got to know some caterers. well, he was upset that i took over his job as lord mayor of party town, but he did offer his help. i hope he meant it. go, take the painting.
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good luck. daphne, you're never going to get a caterer at this late hour. but don't worry, think i can solve your little probobm. i'll be right there. as usual, frasier has to save the day. as usual, martin has to hear about it.
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can't sit, i gotta get up 'cause i feel alive, alivevealive alive! multi-vitamin tablets have 100%+ daily value of more vitamins and minerals than leading brands. daphne: what do you think? will we make it? i won't lie to you, daphne-- it's bad. i feel so stupid. i made a big deal about telling niles how i could handle this on my own. all right, all right, listen. he doesn't have to know. if you just keep him out of my way, i will gladly play your invisible little kitchen elf. you would do that for me?
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now, listen, i've brought everything i need to make my signature pomegranate-honey sauce, all right? i will need a ramekin for each of your guests. here we are. oh, dear, this is bad. what? well, there are two that are mismatched. it's all right if they're all mismatched or... or even in pairs, but two? it's just unheard of. niles: daphne? oh, my god, it's niles. what should we do? don't worry. i'm right in here. ah, sorry i'm late. you look beautiful. darling. i had the worst time finding miniature easels for t t table. oh, but it was worth it. i think so. the place looks lovely, and the new chandelier is absolutely spectacular. but whwhis the painting coveved? well, because i thoughtt a proper unveiling would be an event. we'll do it after dinner. , oh, why don't we do it after cockckils? it'll make for lively dinnnn conversation. trust me, , ter will be better.. and by the way, the kitchen is off-limits to y y. you've already slowed me down. ( doorbell rings )
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i'll be right out. okay. you know, if he had any resourcefulness at all, he would know that tiny easels abound at lilliputiana dollhouse and miniatures. dad... right. listen, i need you to do me a favor. i want you to get me my ramekins all right, and then bring them here, but come in the back way, so niles doesn't see you. are we the first to arrive? oh, you are refreshingly on time. how about some drinks? don't mind me. i'm just down to nick a bottle of the good stuff. they normally hide it from me. this is my mother, gertrude moon. yes, antonia and alex. hello. pleasure to meet you. oh, mum, as long as you're going upstairs, take the coats. yes. is this the mike shaw painting? i'm dying to see it. oh, oh, sorry. no peeng.
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that sounds like a challenge. you're going to have to watch me like a hawk. won't that be fun? ( loud c ctter ) what was t tt? don't worry, niles, that's my domain. all l ght. why don't yoyotake our guests on a tour of the library? oh, all right. this way, thth way. is it true you stiti collect edwardian utility bills? oh, yes. they're fascinating. for example, did you know that sir arthur conan doyle was a notorious water hog? bubuyou don't have totoake my word for it. frasier! i dropped a pan; everything's allllight. mrs. moon: daphne! for god's sakes, all right! i'm having trouble ordering the boxing match. i don't understand. this never happens with the nudie programming. give it here. ( doorbell rings ) oh, damn. you answer that, i'll take care of this. you can come out now. honestly, daphne, if these interruptions don't stop, my signature sauce will be reduced to a monogram.
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hello. i'm daphne's mum. i'm bill... don't bother. i'm just letting you in. hi. is this the crane place? i'm mike shaw. mr. shaw, we thought we were just going to see your painting. we didn't realize you were coming. oh, it was a last-minute thing. uh, call me mike. mike. hello. i'm gertrude. i'm bill tallarino and this is my wife, sharon kwiatkowski-tallarino. may i just say that you are our greatest living american artist, bar none. bar none. ( cell phone rings ) excuse me. is there anything worse than making phony conversation with phony art lovers? yes. living with one. my son-in-law is the host. and if you didn't want your bum kissed, you shouldn't have come. that's all they do here. i wasn't going to come, but my gallery insisted. oh, well, i am going to go upstairs watching a boxing match should you feel the need to get away. well, i probably shouldn't, but maybe just the first rlund. all right, then.
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just liquor. so, it actually took georgegeernard shaw longer to rectify his billing error than it did for him to write man and superman. that's great. are those the drinks? yes. ( doorbell rinin ) oh, excuse me. bibi and sharon. thad and jeremy, welcome. niles! niles. hey. hi! where's your better half? niles: oh, ah, here she is now. oh, i meant frasier. my brother's not coming this evening. but he's always, always, always at your parties: frasier and yellowtail carpaccio. has the world gone mad? not yet. we still have carpaccio. ( chuckles ) you've got two choices. you can either walk away from the painting, or you can limp away from the painting. walk. mother, coats. yes, master.
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no, that's terrible. the worst parts, we're going to miss dinner with mike shaw. i can't believe you got that old hermit to come. mike, mike shaw is here? what?! where is he? must have wandered d f. he's notott all like i picicred him-- older guy, whiteteair, cane. i think he's wearing a plaid flannel shirt. he's quite a character. really? ( all talking at once ) here you go. oh, dad, finally. if you had said nut bowls, i would have gotten them right off. yes, yes, all right. now, listen. i need you to run to the grocery store for me and pick up some sel de mer, some olive tapenade, balsamic vinegar and some english stilton cheese. have you got that? you lost me after sally's mare. all right, fine. i'll write it down. niles: coming rht up. daphne: niles, no. oh, dad, hide in there! oh, da oh, i thought so. what are you doing here? i just brought some dishes over. wh...? you're not supposed to be in the kitchen, honey. i don't know what happened and i don't want to know how it happened but somehow, our guests are all under the impression that dad is mike shaw.
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he's the artist-- the painter of the painting that everyone is here to see. what are we going to do? it's not a problem. we'll check your father out the back door and make up an excuse. better yet, we'll take him out the front door. that way, people can see him leave. uh, okay. you know zero about art; don't say a word or these people will see right through you. yeah, i'm sure a phony will really stand out at this party. oh, this must be mr. shaw. niles: i have very bad news. mr. shaw is not feeling well, so he has to leave. oh, oh, i can't... i can't let you go without getting your autograph. and if you could draw something on it. well, actually i do a pretty good rocket. no, no, antonia, mr. shaw's not giving away art. just write mike shaw. now, isn't that nice. okay, and there you go. that's for you. come along, come along. please, just say a few words about the dry wit of the sandwich maker. who wants another tour? oh, i do. get out.
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oh, what a good idea. ( doorbell ringing ) i'll catch up with you. don't let them in the panic room. oh, hello. i'd almost given up on you. oh, it's lovely. thanks. and if you don't mind, i find it's best to get paid while there's still evidence. yes, of course, of course. i'll tell you what, if you'll just wheel it over there by the dining rotunda i'll be right with you. the coast is clear. come on, let's get a bottle of champagne and go back up. hey, you're mike shaw. i studied you in art school. you're a major influence. that's very flattering. now, shall we get back upstairs for round three? uh, she's talking about the fight. of course, the night's still young. and hehe... and that... d here you go... and... thank you. no, no, thank you. i just met one of my heroes-- mike shaw. oh, yes, in the hall? no, right here. don't tell me--
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i forgot the list. niles: mr. shaw. oh, for god's sake. dad, you're not supposed to be here. niles, you're not supposed to be here. and what's in here? oh, mr. shaw, you came back. i, uh... felt better. then you must talk to us about your work. we're collectors, you know. oh, but this is a party. i, uh... i... art all the time. man: come on. let's get you another drink. fun party. it's nice to see you step out of frasier's shadow. i think he might have been holding you back. okay, i have to get out there before dad says something stupid. let's get these hens browning so we can eat as soon as possible... mm... that's frasier's signature sauce. except it's so much better.
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i'm holding him back. your sauce is better than mine. honestly, i don't even know why i try. what impresses me the most is the way you reinvent identity while recording anonymity. well, that took years to get down. sure, sure. come on, tell us, what do you think of warhol? crap. kienholz? crap. it is so refreshing to have someone speak so candidly. and you have to believe me 'cause i'm a fancy-ass artist. ( laughing ) man: oh, hey, i know-- why don't you take us through the house and tell us what you think of niles's art. oh, yes, please. oh, sure. i've been waiting to do that for a long time. you can't brown the hens yet.
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and my sauce will separate. is that what you want? i... is that what you want?! niles: daphne. damn it. you're not supposed to be in here! i'm sorry. dad's run amok. why aren't the hens browning? because they're not ready yet. but they look ready. yes, well, they're not. then we'll just serve them as is. you can't, they're not browned. we're going to. i'll get a platter. don't open that door. stop that. i already saw him. what are you doing here? i am saving your party, that's what i'm doing. niles... you don't have to explain. frasier's presence here is clearly why this party's gone awry. oh, really? well, if that's what you think, then i will gladly take my signature sauce and go. your signature sauce? and that reminds me, you won't be needing to use my poultry shears. no, no, no, you can't. it's already here. this is mine. no, it-it's on my property. oh, stop it! stop it, both of you!
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( all gasping ) what have you done?! i'm not sorry. you've been asking for this for years. no, it's not what you think. see, yummy. ( groaning ) no, no, it's sauce. we just had a little kitchen mishap. we'll just get this cleaned up. wipe yourself off with this. thanks, dad. that is no mike shaw. what happened to my painting? did you know about this, mike? i may have. oh, give it up, martin. this isn't mike shaw. it's niles's father. what are you trying to pull, crane? this is uncomfortable. we should go. daphne: no, no, no, please, listen to me. listen. yes, there's been some deception and things got out of hand, but no real harm has been done. i've made some mistakes. people make mistakes. but that's no reason to abandon them. this night can still be a success.
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and when i tell you about what happened, we'll all have a good laugh about it. so, please, everybody stay? ( all agreeing ) oh, thank you. well done, daphne. ( loud creaking ) ( creaking continues ) hello. all right, get your coats. daphne...
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here in vineland, home of progresso, we love all kinds of chicken soups... but just one kind of chicken. white breast meat chicken every time. so if you're not going to make your own chicken soup tonight, do what we do...make it progresso. nivea in-shower body lotion. first i wash... then i apply it to my wet skin.
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i quickly rinse off. and i'm ready to go. nivea in-shower body lotion -- in the body lotion aisle. here we go. ah man, who invited these guys? hey clay, it's cool if we order some delivery? it's time for you guys to make the right call. we're having digiorno pizza, fresh-baked in my own oven. okay. it's not delivery, it's digiorno. don't let bad odors escape. continuously neutralize them with glad with febreze. the only bag with the irresistible scent of gain. this is the joy for me. i love bread! i love bread. i now just manage it, so i don't deny myself bread, i have bread everyday. that's the genius of this program.
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